With a little help from my friends/Con un poco ayuda de mis amigos

When I arrived in Santo Domingo, I felt really alone. I have my friend Ezra Fieser, the freelance journalist living here, but he was the only person I knew here. He was the first person I met other than FUNGLODE employees. I hadn't even met my housing coordinator, my internship coordinator, nada.

As you read here, I was confused, angry, upset, sad, and lost. I really toned down my despair over my first three days here in the blog posts. I've cried every day since I've arrived, and I've been told that won't go away for a while. It even happened today, and I've felt really good about stuff the last few days.

Monday morning I met my roommate, Indhira. She was born in the Dominican Republic and moved to the States when she was 13. She just finished up her undergrad degree at City College of New York in international relations and political science. She's doing an internship in government here before she heads back to NY to begin her graduate program. She's fluent in English and Spanish.

Indhira has saved my life. She immediately took care of me and has helped me so much. She walked me to the grocery store and helped me pick stuff out. Since Monday, she's given me tons of advice and pointers on how to live here. Just having her around has helped put me at ease.

Monday night we ordered ice cream from a colmado, which is a delivery service that will bring damn near anything you could want. They brought it right to our door. Just like that. And the ice cream, OMFG. So good. Today her uncle drove us to the bank, where I got pesos for the first time (!) and I asked her to show me where real Dominican food was. She took me to a criollo/Chinese place. Criollo is a word that describes Dominican food. I had chowfan--fried rice. But it tastes different (read: better) than regular bad Chinese food fried rice. Let's be clear. I love Panda Express. That's the kind of bad Chinese food I'm talking about. This Chinese/criollo stuff is ten times better than that. Everyone eats there, so it's Dominican. I was expecting rice and beans and stuff, but hey. When in Rome. Plus I got a big-ass plate of food for 180 pesos, which is like $2 US.

At first I was really wary of how kind she was to me, right off the bat. But I've learned over the last few days that Dominican people are kind and helpful by nature. If you show you give a shit about the people here, try to communicate, and show respect for the culture, they will be there for you. I'm suspicious of people showing me kindness to begin with, which is predicated by my low self-esteem and screwed up relationship with my family. Sometimes, especially right now, I can't fathom how anyone could want to be my friend, or care about me, or love me. So it blew my mind that this girl I met a few days ago is genuinely interested in helping me and expects nothing from me in return but friendship and kindness.

I made dinner for us Monday night. She's making dinner for us tonight. I like this arrangement.

I've met kind and helpful people at FUNGLODE and InteRDom as well. They've been super helpful with getting me used to life here. They say my Spanish is really good and encourage me to practice. I still feel stupid when I can't keep up with them, but everyone assures me that I'm doing okay.

I'm not quite as lonely anymore. I miss my boyfriend every day and I talk to my friends in the States when I can. It's just nice to know I have people here who really care about me and want to help me and want me to do well.

I am embarrassed because I feel like the retarded cousin here. I'm scared to ask for help because I think they'll reject me. I know they won't, because they've proven that they won't. But the fear exists. It's why I cry every day I'm here.

I didn't intend to end this entry on a sad note. I didn't intend this entry to be sad in the first place. Things are going well here but my emotions are running amok and it's a lot to handle.

Tomorrow I have another workshop on public transit. Friday and Saturday I have class. That's it for the week's activities, but more stories are to come in the next few days.