09 September 2011

The beginning, Part I: The woman/El comienzo, parte uno: la mujer

Nothing eventful happened today. I had history class again. We got a new student, a Dominican-American from New York (quel surprise). There was a rainstorm. Standard procedure in the DR.

These days where nothing new happens are the perfect days to write about the backstory of how I made it to the DR. Believe it or not, I choose the titles of my posts carefully for two reasons. One, because I have a Spanish translation for each one, and two, because I fancy myself a witty and sharp writer.

I chose not to lump these posts under the prologue tag. These stories are more than a set-up. They're their own chapters.

Part I of the beginning concerns who I  am, because my personality, experiences, and background have had the strongest influence on my decision to come to the DR.

I'm a first generation college student and I can claim half of a Mexican-American heritage. That's not so uncommon, but it's celebrated around my school. Apparently it's a big deal when Hispanics go to college.

I have put myself through school from day one. I mentioned that I'm 29 and I'm still in undergrad. I started   community college when I was 20 and I worked full time. I attended classes at night while working in an office doing clerical work. I also supported my grandmother from 2000-2009, when she passed away.

I didn't always take school seriously. I screwed around the first two years of CC and cut classes. I never really thought I would make it past the first few years, so I just gave up.

I went into college as a broadcast journalism major and I was hellbent on changing the world, one baseball broadcast at a time. I was going to be a play-by-play announcer. I was going to represent women in the business and crush all the men.

As you can see, none of these things happened. I fell out of love with broadcasting and I focused on writing. I got a few opportunities to write about sports on the internet, back before blogs and e-zines were a big deal like they are now. Por ejemplo, there was a cute boy I flirted with in my English class, about a year and a half before I transferred to San Jose State. One of our conversations went like this:

Cute Boy: You're a good writer.
Me: Thanks, I write for SFDugout.com.
Cute Boy: Wait a website?
Me: Yeah.
Cute Boy: That's nothing. Websites aren't real.
Me: :|

Cute boy was no longer cute after that.

Writing for those websites, "real" or not, made me realize that I had to do something. I had to stop screwing around and finish school if I wanted to be a writer. So I got my shit together, went to class, and transferred to San Jose State in the Fall of 2009, a few months after my grandmother passed away.

My grandmother's passing was a monumental shift in my life. I admit that I wasn't the model granddaughter/caretaker for her. I let the stresses of working 10 hours a day, attending classes a few nights a week, and building a journalism career boil over and I took it out on her often. Once she got really sick, our relationship basically fell apart.

Then she died and I suddenly had nowhere to go. We lost our house. I was a few months away from knowing if I was accepted to San Jose State. I lived with friends for about six months that summer and prepared myself for what was next.

I started San Jose State as a junior three years ago, where I am a global studies major and a journalism/Spanish minor. I like to joke that I picked GS at SJSU because it has no transfer requirements or prerequisite classes. What really drew me to the program was that it offered a wide open course of study and let me control what I wanted from my degree. I wanted to see more than what was in front of me. I wanted to learn about the world and be a part of something bigger.

There goes the idealist college student crap. I started this college exercise thinking I could change the world. Now that I'm in my third year of my studies at SJSU, with six years of CC behind me, eight years of taking care of someone else, and 29 years of struggling to make it, I'm focused on getting paid.

They tell me that international students have a career edge. I bought into it. That's part of the reason why I'm here in the DR. I really do enjoy living in a new culture and seeing the world but every day I'm here is a day I hope I can come back to the US, graduate, get into a good grad program, and make a good life with my intellect and hard work.

My grandmother was by biggest fan. She always supported me and was so proud of me when I got good grades, when I was first published on the web, and when I made strides in my journalism career. She's been gone for two years and I miss her all the time. There are times when I wish I could talk to her and share the last two years of my life with her, but I know I had to let her go to focus on my own life. Otherwise none of this would be happening.

It took me four years to get to the Dominican Republic, from the day I sent my application to San Jose State to today. Long stories take a long time to write.

Tomorrow is my first class meeting of Analysis of Current Dominican Issues. Potential for more school stories.

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